Who are The Nobs Anyway?

Pat was raised by wolves in the uncharted rural lands of southern NJ.  The first human voice he heard was that of Robert Plant, as a passing motorist was blasting Led Zeppelin on his car radio.  After toiling for years to remove the Doppler Effect from his singing style, Pat is honored that a recent web-poll named him as one of the 5 most talented and attractive Nobs (thanks for voting, Mom). Like all of us, he may die any day, so be sure to catch a performance of The Nobs before that happens.

Hoping that the Nobs project would finally give him a rest from seeing Jim all the time with their recording act Glen Closer. Joe's hopes were dashed when the band asked him to fill in on drums for the Nobs. Oddly enough his poor sense of tempo is outweighed by his viciously hard hitting style. Not to mention he has REALLY long hair, which fills the rock and roll star position within the Nobs' lineup.

Jim just started showing up at The Nob's rehearsals one day. No one remembers inviting him but no one had the heart to ask him to leave. Until Pat showed up Jim would would make odd sounds into the microphones that alternated between gagging and howling. Recently he has settled into Joe Cocker like contortions while feigning to play guitar. We usually have his amp turned off.

Although he claims to be in his 40's, Glenn continuously refuses to produce proof of his declaration. Until he does, we are going to assume that he is actually twelve; based partially on his “baby face” but mostly on his behavior. He credits his young looks to drinking lots of beer combined with what he refers to as “assal horizontology”. Until he produces some proof of age however, we are not condoning his consumption of alcoholic beverages. Oh yeah, Glenn likes music and plays a “musical” instrument, we think is a bass.

Nobody really knows where Paul came from. We found him living behind the studio in a big green garbage bin, taught him a few chords on the guitar and cleaned him up.....ALOT. In fact, we're not sure if Paul is really his name, he doesn't really speak much. Yet, there was that day at rehearsal when he tried to actually sing something.......after that we kept him away from the microphones.

Like a villain from a 007 movie, he is generally known by just one letter "Z".  This guy twists the Nobs’ knobs to make them sound, well, better than they otherwise would.  Best of all, he’s strong so he can carry lots of equipment – that’s why he has earned the right to be referred to as a "True NOB!".  Most conversations with Z involve at least one quotation from a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Ex-Nobs

In order of appearance, guys that called themselves Nobs.

Larry actually started The Nobs. He started out at the tender age of 12 pursuing his dream of becoming a jazz singer. He followed in the footsteps of his idols Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday. Unfortunately the sequined gowns and bright red lipstick were a little too risqué for the time and critics wrote him off as "eccentric". Realizing his own untapped limitless talent, he took to the stringed instrument with the least amount of strings, the bass. After about 3-1/2 years of hard work he called upon some contemporaries to start playing "jam sessions". The entire thing was over in 4 minutes when at the end of 'Should I stay or should I go', Larry was fresh out of material. 19 years later The Nobs were born.

Larry has since retired from The Nobs to enjoy hours of needle point and macramé.

Steve’s high squeaky leprechaun voice raised a flag that Pat and Steve may be twin sons of different mothers. DNA testing was inconclusive. Steve was genuinely excited to audition for “The Nerds” and when he got the job he was ecstatic! His elation soon crashed to earth when Joe told him that he was now a “NOB”, not a “NERD”! Not being a stickler for details, he decided to take the gig despite his bitter disappointment. On a more somber note, Steve had to audition for the band on his wedding anniversary. The look on her face, “priceless”! 

After watching "Tin Cup", Steve has decide to follow his love of golf and Winnebago's.

This is currently the only known photograph of Dave. This along with a declined background check by the FBI have left us wondering if he is actually in the witness protection program.


Dave now spends his time eating Fruit loops and watching Bugs Bunny cartoons. "Yeah see."